nothing

I know nothing––

I have lived in its house for many years.

I have floated in its starless infinite liquid black ink with no compass and

no clue where I might be drifting, or if I am in motion at all.

I know nothing–– 

its sense of humor at unlikely times,

it's sudden bursts of brilliance and peace,

its terors and night-sweats and lack of light that is darker then space,

darkness-beyond-darkness that takes you to the highway in the rain,

makes you want to live again, 

makes you want to roll the dice with your one last gasp, 

your last arbitrary wish, your last lucky penny,

roll the dice as you are falling

even if you may never see them land, 

or know if they'll come up lucky 7, or snake-eyes, or craps,

even if you know you may never know 

anything.

dj

11-7-15

one word prompt (light)

light. mosaic. pattern. neuron firing pattern. map. of thought.

repetitious nomenclature. semantics. hermeneutics. other words,

I have no idea of their meaning, except I worked in a bookstore . . . 

neurons fire. and fire. sometimes the same path all day.

some find new trails. ideas. what have you. the point is. light.

chemical. electrical. synapse gap. spike potential. firing neuron.

signal moves on. down the line. then your arm moves. then you turn

your head. you see her. your chemicals change. destiny. fate. eternal 

recurrence. blind chance. inevitable odds and/or biological imperative.

i don't care.

i just meant the light. everywhere. the light from the stars. stars that blew up.

the particles circled around and found each other. got back together. again.

got dense. then denser. burst into flames. again. making more light.

those stars blew up too.  that's where the iron in our bodies comes from.

we are made of particles that got together. so they could ignite. into stars. giving light. 

unimaginable heat. over millions of years. the sun. our sun. barely gets a chance

to know us. then we leave. flash in. flash out. flash bulb. neurons flashing. 

guns blazing. ok. it's amazing. amazing enough. we don't have enough light. 

to really read the situation. it's dim. sometimes dark. 

the sun says, hello.  then we're gone.  and the sun says good-bye. 

the sun says,  come home.   or. the sun says,  well, little cherub, 

what else you got up your sleeve?

dj

7-20-15

writing project... from one word prompt... (refuse)

refuse, or re-fuse, or, like, 

draw a circle anyway, and recognize yourself.

refuse or accept––or just write me a damn check and be on your way, except,

oh yeah, I don't get paid, you do, right, and I like to keep it that way, it's so personal.

It's more tantalizing. 

I try to receive, but sometimes it bounces right off me…. or I give something back, in return, 

too speedily–– 

as if something were off balance in the universe suddenly, and it is up to me. . . 

anyway,

I'm talking to three or four people at once and most of them are leaving the room. . . 

they refuse to understand what I am talking about, or, they just don't care, 

most likely. 

It is like that sometimes.

I put on a blindfold and start talking. And when I wake up

the room is empty. Even the curtains are bored, hanging heavily,

staring at the world outside.

7-19-15

bon nuit

nuit~

I don't know where I was with her last night––

I was like a dull, broken pillow and she was like a bright sparkler full of fire and surprises.

her eyes were enough to hold my attention to their limitless staircases and dimensions––

energy flowed through her 

like fiery-tidal-waves-full-of-lightning-bolts that could shatter

reality (into un-traceable quantum possibilities)~~~

I watched,  mumbling a foreign language,  while her essence poured over me 

until I was there . . .  

dj 

(2014)

um...

you are love

you are loved

mistakes are not mistakes

victories are not victories

nothing stops changing.

feels like

something new

wants to begin

today

what?

and––…

yes…

just feel it.

desire to 

play.

discard.

cut away.

stop holding

and 

stop holding back.

let go.

allow. all.

joy and

fresh

air.

live.

let live.

die.

let die.

stay.

pray.

say.

grace.

here.

or there.

this

or that.

live

your life.

even if

it means

sleeping

all

day.

or 

going out

in a 

speedboat

or canoe

why

not 

fly

why not 

use the wings you got.

don't start

something new

just do

what you

really want

instead of

numbing it out

or hiding from it

just live 

and

let yourself

live

and 

don't be

afraid to

die. or––

whatever––

just do

what 

your heart

keeps

telling you

whether it

makes 

sense 

or

not is

not your

business.

tasting every morsel

every inch of you.

dj

another siri collaboration.... 

Actually want to do you do that you said he wanted to do chain-smoking pretty nice for job changing 

social beautiful and convince themselves and each other feel graded the city and scratching just 

wanted to look at it and how it look

Imagination than possible or nothing at all it's good to dream if you get a sense of scale but he did so 

it was like tweeting another excepted made him tears and activated emotions and attended to 

head him from the world because he felt the shame of being so self-destructive the devotedly in love 

and so far from home struggling perpetually to get dressed there in the arms of your sweet loving me 

for me to me before he left she looked it up

go ahead

Go ahead and fuck up completely

why be embarrassed about it

who are you to be so special.

Are you better than all the people in the world. 

in history. 

who have fucked up completely due to some aberration 

or addiction or peculiarity in their personality.  And, go ahead,

fuck up completely over and over and over,

what better way to learn than by trying and failing and trying and failing.

Or go ahead and succeed with all the love and glory raining down upon you….

then what….

either way, you will go home alone,

either way the only thing real is love,

either way the main thing is

winning and losing and fucking up completely

are all the same in the land-beyond-duality. . . 

where god and reality live.